About 15 years ago, a colleague gave me some feedback. She said: “You’re a young woman, why do you dress so much older?” It shocked me, she knew I wasn’t being me, I was dressing older to fit in. I was using language that wasn’t me to disguise who I really was, she could see my difference. I felt exposed and vulnerable.

Then I realised that there were other situations when I felt that I couldn’t share who I really was and what was important to me as I didn’t feel that it was acceptable and that I had permission to do so in the workplace.

Embracing my difference

I then went on to think about my daughter and how not embracing my difference might impact her, how embracing my difference could give others permission to do the same and how liberating it would be to embrace my differences as a strength and use it for the good of all.

But how would I do this and how others would react? In fact, wouldn’t it be madness to risk everything I had in pursuit of being me?

This coincided with a change in career, from being employed, to launching my own leadership and coaching business. An opportunity that I took as a call to adventure, to transform and reinvent myself, to change the world through powerful coaching conversations and embrace my difference at the same time.

To move away from blending in, sameness and mediocrity to embracing my difference, gaining strength from my uniqueness and standing out.

Valuing and embracing my difference

I thought, if you don’t value your difference, who will? David Grohl’s words served as my mantra – ‘No one is you and that is your power.’

So I began daring myself to be me, but the path didn’t run smoothly.

I dare you to attend that high–profile event and ask a question…… I remember attending an event, preparing the perfect question, and then chickening out of actually asking for fear of being seen to have a different point of view.

But still I madly persevered in embracing my difference.

I dare you to dress in a way that really matches your personality…. I would prepare outfits that I felt really expressed who I was but then slip on the safe black suit in case it was frowned upon and drew attention to all the other ways that I was different.

But still I madly persevered in embracing my difference.

I dare you to write a book…. And when I became even stronger I wrote my book Rocking Your Role, a guide for female breadwinners. Alongside the positive comments, I received some criticism from those who didn’t feel that the topic was worth discussing.

But still I madly persevered in embracing my difference.

Attracting like-minded people

And do you know what happened?

My vibe attracted my tribe, the people who understand and really ‘get’ me.

And by embracing my difference, I permitted them to do the same.

And now I often receive the compliments: ‘you seem comfortable in your skin’ and ‘you are transparent.’

I realised that saying was right. ‘Why fit in when you were born to stand out?’

So what is authenticity?

For me, authenticity is about being true to you, being open with others and being honest, and doing the right thing.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the consequences of what you say or do, or that there isn’t a professional you, but you come at situations from a place of truth. We are attracted to authentic leaders because we know who they are and can connect with them.

We feel happier when we are authentic leaders because we have removed the mask and can be more truly ourselves.

As a leader, could you benefit from being more authentic in the workplace?

Could it enable you to be more productive and happy at work? Create better relationships between and you and your colleagues? Result in a more inclusive and humane work culture?

3 Top Tips to develop your authenticity:

1. Lead from your life story

When you lead from your life story, you demonstrate a passion for your purpose, you practice your values consistently, you lead with your heart, your head and your gut, and you establish long term, meaningful relationships and have the self-discipline to get results. In short, people know who you are and why you are the way that you are.

To do this, you have to understand what your life story is. Have you always led from your earliest memories? Or perhaps you have a cause or a struggle that has driven your leadership? Or maybe it’s the combination of your life experiences that have come together to make you the leader that you are today?

Think about how you can articulate your story to others, and when you do, it will be deeply connected to who you are because it will be coming from an authentic place.

2. Let yourself be vulnerable

I had an amazing client whose home had suffered some fire damage; she was living in a terrible situation for over a year and didn’t once mention to her team the trauma she was going through, as she didn’t want to burden them. When through the coaching process she decided to share some of what was happening for her, she was surprised at how her staff supported her, how they seemed to be more willing to go the extra mile and be more open with her about their own difficulties. Vulnerability here does not mean being weak or submissive, it implies the courage to be yourself. Vulnerability and authenticity as lying at the root of human connection. And human connection is often dramatically missing from workplace.

3. Refine the balance between personal and professional

This can go wrong when you are too professional and no one gets to see the real you or conversely when you over share. Get to know your team, while also setting clear boundaries and expectations. Professional behaviour and authenticity have to go hand in hand. A casual and collaborative leadership approach, which women gravitate towards, can easily be sabotaged by overly personal behaviour and an authoritarian approach can lead to fear, blame, lack of risks and creativity.

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.” – Brene Brown.

Resources

You may find these further resources helpful in developing your authenticity:

VIDEO: TEDX Talk Ditch the Mask & Don the Cape in true pursuit of you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW-ovk2922c [21 mins]

VIDEO: Would you follow you? https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jenny-garrett/would-you-follow-you_b_3458894.html

WEBINARS: Replay of the Webinars https://www.jennygarrett.global/events/webinars/

EVENT: Join me at the Future Leaders Conference on the 25th May. This conference is aimed at women aspiring or already in early leadership positions who are looking to broaden their skills and grow in to their roles as future leaders https://wearefutureleaders.wearethecity.com/speakers/

EVENT: 1 day Renew & Reimagine retreat 9th June  – a place to be your most authentic self https://www.jennygarrett.global/one-day-retreat/

PRESENTATION: Finding Your Own Leadership Story http://slideplayer.com/slide/6987163/

BLOG: Finding the leader within http://blog.sage.ie/index.php/finding-leader/

BOOK:  If Women Rose Rooted : A Journey to Authenticity and Belonging – 3 Nov 2016 by Sharon Blackie

For your interest:

RESEARCH Latest research on women’s careers in the City https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak0GSOoKF34