Think about the last time that you received a combination of positive and negative feedback, which did you dwell on the most? I am guessing that it was the negative.
I find that when I am giving coaching clients feedback on the results of their 360 degree questionnaires, they always focus on the negative too. This is 100% normal because we are hardwired to dwell on negative feedback longer than positive feedback. In fact, studies suggest that our memories weigh negative feedback more than three times stronger than positive.
This means that we have to make an extra effort to focus on, notice, savour and celebrate the positive. Here’s how:
- Affirm Yourself in the Future
Researchers have found that when we self-affirm, particularly in the future tense, it helps us to engage in life more positively, bolster feelings of self-worth and respond more constructively to threats.
To help you do this, you can visualise on a time in the future when you will:
- have fun with family and friends
- be successful at work
- feel proud of yourself
- feel successful
I suggest that you write your responses down, immerse yourself in how you will feel and decide how you’ll celebrate. Then check your positivity, it will have increased.
- Go on a Diet
You may have heard the saying that you are what you eat; well you are also a product of what you take in mentally. What is your mental diet? Do you feed your mind with positive books, podcasts, conversations, programmes and thoughts, or do you have an influx of something very different coming at you? To develop high levels of self-esteem and positivity, you need to up your intake of positivity, just like you might take a vitamin supplement. Why not start by watching something uplifting, like a TEDx talk?
- Positive People
Think of those closest to you… Would you say that they are happy and optimistic?
The people that you surround yourself with at home, work and socially, will impact how you feel and your success, more than any other factor.
We can’t always avoid negative people, and we want to be there for people who are having a difficult time, but minimising or balancing our time between them and more positive people will improve our own positivity.
Whenever you have a choice, choose to associate with winners, positive people and people who are happy and optimistic.
Want to further develop your positivity? Here are some resources to help:
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EVENT: Why Perseverance Matters panel discussion event – 19th November, NatWest, London – 6pm Places are Limited. Book now to take advantage of the early bird https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/why-perseverance-matters-tickets-49283587537
WEBINAR: Developing a Positive Attitude – 16th November 12pm https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/webinar-developing-a-perpetually-positive-attitude-tickets-42530554032 (replay will be available)
ONLINE: Develop your skills and grow your confidence with our Online Professional and Self-Development Programmes
Happenista Project Step 1 https://www.udemy.com/the-happenista-project/
Happenista Project Step 2 https://www.udemy.com/happenista-project-step2/
Happenista Project Step 3 https://www.udemy.com/the-happenista-project-step-3/
QUIZ: Take this wellbeing quiz, which will give you a score of your positivity https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/well-being-survey.html
BOOK: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself – Michael A Singer https://www.amazon.co.uk/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself-ebook/dp/B003TU29WA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1539779582&sr=1-1&keywords=become+more+positive
TED Talk: The new era of positive psychology Martin Seligman https://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology/discussion [23 mins]