Jenny was recently interviewed on Sky Tv’s, A Different Kind Of Woman Show on the topic, here’s a video transcription of the interview or you can watch the clip here
Welcome back everyone and on today’s show, ‘The New You’, we are discussing how we can change ourselves for the better. And joining us we have Jenny Garett, Trainer and Author of ‘Rocking Your Role’.
HOST 1: Welcome Jenny!
JENNY: Thank you. I’m delighted to be here.
HOST 1: I’m delighted to have you. (Laughter) So tell us, what inspired you to write this book?
JENNY: Well it was really interesting! I was on the Internet, you know just sort of googling, looking around and I came across an article about female breadwinners and I thought this is really interesting, you know something I really hadn’t have any conversations with anyone about before. I read the article and it made me realise that I was the main earner in my home. And my husband who had been an Accountant had started working with disaffected young people. So really good work, but not earning as much. And I had gone into running my own business and my salary had really jumped and I thought, gosh, this brought out lots of challenges for women who are the main earner. You know things that happen every day, if you go into a restaurant with a man, you know, who do they give the bill to? The man always. (Laughter) What do you do, you know? (Laughter)
HOST 1: Usually! Yeah, you take the bill!
JENNY: Yeah, exactly what you do, you slide the credit card under the table (Laughter) do you make a joke that you are paying today and never go to that restaurant again. And also things about ego as well. I realised that because I was the main earner I was making a lot of decisions without really consulting my husband. I was just like “oh, it’s my money, I’ll do it!” And you know that’s not a good thing to do. So the article helped me realise that there are loads of challenges and I thought “oh, is it just me and this woman or is there lots of us who are the main earner?” I sent a message out, you know through, on the Internet just saying “are you the main earner and how do you feel about it?” And one woman came back and she said, “I was the main earner for three years and those were dark days!” And I just thought that no one should feel like that. They should be proud of being the main earners, we should be happy that we can hold our families together and that’s when I started doing the research and then ultimately wrote the book, ‘Rocking Your Role’.
HOST 2: Wow, wonderful! I mean you help, I know you help a lot of people to navigate through their work and achievements but what would you find as being the main obstacles that they, and challenges that they need to overcome?
JENNY: Yeah! Particularly when I’m working with women, I think it’s our limiting beliefs, those little gremlins in our heads. The ones that say, “I’m not slim enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not beautiful enough you know, who am I to do them?” I think those little voices are the things that holds us back, our interference and they stop us reaching our potential. As well as that I think that there is often a perfectionist tendency with women. You know there is this thing, you got to do it right and if you can’t do it right, we shouldn’t try! You know, you know, we can’t fail, we can’t make mistakes and I think a lot of that goes back to being really good little girls. (Laughter) We got rewarded for being good little girls with very neat handwriting and perfect hems but I think later on in life you got to, you got to actually be a bad girl, a little bit! (Laughter)
HOST 2: Sometimes when you do, things are step by step, isn’t it?
JENNY: Yes! Yeah!
HOST 2: Cause as always, Rome was not built in one day as they say!
JENNY: No! That’s it! And as you all were saying earlier, the mistakes and the failures are real learning points and they really help you grow and evolve.
HOST 3: Well, you are the Vice Chairman of the Twenty Ten Club?
HOST 3: So congratulations about that! It’s lovely! I just want to know, what does your organisation hope to achieve?
JENNY: Yeah! It’s really about having more women of colour as role models. There is an absence of role models and if you don’t see it, you can’t be it! And the idea is that we really increase the awareness of female black entrepreneurs, build a community and we also go into schools and we have an interviews on Entrepreneur Programmes so that young girls can know that this is one route, it’s not the only route of running a business but it’s one route and there are black females doing it.
HOST 3: So they can get to ask you question?
HOST 3: That’s lovely!
HOST 2: Wonderful!
JENNY: And they ask the best questions! (Laughter)
HOST 4: Jenny, you are also on the Board of Generation Success, which is a student organisation that you help chair it! Right? And my question for you is ” How do you think, why do you think it’s important for young people to get involved with charities?”
JENNY: I think young people need to recognise that they are very powerful and I think that the media attention that they get at the moment and the messages out there, what that’s saying is “you’re going to be the poorest generation, the future is not good for you! You know, there, you know qualifications are handed to you on a plate. There is not really very positives messages and I think when young people know they can make a difference in the world, they are powerful and they know they have choices and they know they can craft the life they want. So, you know, for young people, if you start thinking about other people, start giving, you stop worrying about yourself.
HOST: That’s true!
JENNY: You know, getting very self-absorbed and getting down, there’s no need for that. You know, when you can make a difference, when you can give, you gain.
HOST 2: I’d like to ask, excuse me! I’d like to ask, “What make women more leaders rather than followers?
JENNY: Right! I think leadership is a really interesting topic and people come at it from different angles. I think about personal leader, personal leadership and there is a quote that I love, it’s, “you were born an original, don’t die a copy.”
HOST 2: I love that!
HOST 3: All right!
JENNY: And I think that’s what leaders are. We know we are original, we embrace our uniqueness, we are not afraid to stand out on our own and that’s what it’s about!
HOST 2: Fantastic!
HOST 1: I’d like to ask you bit, a little bit more about the Entrepreneurship Programme that you do. What kind of things does it entail?
JENNY: So, in terms of Twenty Ten Club or generally the work I do?
HOST 1: Where you go into the schools .
JENNY: Okay! So schools call us in and we have a panel of typically eight Black Female Entrepreneurs and the young people prepare questions in advance and have the opportunity to ask us questions. They get to know a bit about us and they see our bios. So the fact that I’ve written a book, you know, I often get questions about what it’s like be an author, how do you write a book? Others, some are in the music industry, some have actual skin care products, they’ll ask about how you, how they did it. And one of the big questions that they usually ask is “my parents, you know are pushing me down this academic route, you know, how did you deal with your own parents?” So interestingly enough, my mum is a very supportive person. I remember when I said, “I’m leaving my corporate life to become a coach.” She said to me “Isn’t that just a fad?” (Laughter) “What about your pension?” So we have to manage that. Listen to your parents. Have a fall back, do your qualifications, but you know what, sometimes we do prove our parents wrong and the jobs of the future haven’t been imagined by our parents yet. So, yeah!
HOSTS: That’s so true!
HOST 2: Wow, that’s fantastic! This is your book?
JENNY: Yeah, this is my book, Rock Your Role! I’d like to give you all a copy!
HOSTS: Wow, thank you.
HOST 2: Thank you very much! I’m loving it!
JENNY: This book is about like ditching the guilt, it’s about not having to be superwoman and it’s about letting go of what assumptions are around what women have to be and being who you want to be in life!
(Cross talking) Fantastic!
HOST 2: Inspirational!
JENNY: Thank you!
HOST 1: I just want to ask a bit more on the personal note, I guess, like from you know, writing this book and from obviously cause you’re writing about your own experiences and changes you’ve made. What positive changes I guess, I’d like to ask have you seen in your marriage, because of I guess thinking differently and, and rocking your role?
JENNY: Yeah! I think the book was like therapy for me writing it in a way, as well as there are eight case of studies in there so I learn from others experience as well. And you know, in any relationship, communication is key and communication is something that you know, I’ve worked on with my husband and realised that we know, two way communication is really important. The other is what do you value about the person. It is not about money! Is it? And it’s about demonstrating that you value the someone and what they bring to the relationship. You know, whether that’s the humour, whether they complement you because they are the soft one and you are the tough one, or whatever it is. So recognizing that it’s the opposite so as the difference that makes the whole. So I think there are a couple of things and the other is letting go. Oh gosh! There are so many women I meet, you know, who before a cleaner comes they have to clean their house, you know. (Laughter)
HOSTS: Gosh! That’s so true! (Laughter)
JENNY: They want, they want someone to support them you know, they want their husband to cook the dinner, but what they cook is not good enough and I think, you know, one of the things I’ve learnt is you have to let go! You know, yes you may want the perfect nutritional balance every day but you know if we have something that’s not that healthy but there is food on the table and we’re okay and you know a few nights a week that’s all right. And you kind of have to let go and trust that the other person can do a good job.
HOST 2: Beautiful!
HOST 3: Did you always want to do what you are doing now or did you have other dreams before?
JENNY: Oh no! I was in marketing and I loved marketing. (Laughter) I was absolutely passionate about marketing. Yeah, you know this thing they say about like reinventing themselves?
JENNY: I was in marketing and I loved it and it was a colleague who just knocked on my office door once and said “where are you going next?” You know, “What’s next in your career?” “You need to get a bigger budget, a bigger team.”
HOST 2: Wow! (Laughter)
JENNY: I said, I said, my lifestyle was, you know, where I was working was right for me. (Yeah) And she said, “how about developing other skills?” She said “How about training people?” At the time I was completely not confident. I couldn’t see myself speaking to groups of people. Something I do all the time now. And then she said, “what about coaching?” She said, “you are a really great listener, you help people come away motivated and with action!”
JENNY: And I said “I could try it, you know!” Actually, another qualification on my CV (laughter) would be a good thing. Not thinking that it was going to be completely life changing. And the course was, it just helped me to understand myself better. Sort of peeled off the layers of who I was and recognized what I really wanted to do.
HOST 1: So you really have reinvented yourself?
HOSTS: Yes! Yeah, Definitely! Perfect example for our show!
HOST 1: And what I’d like to ask is did you ever have moments though where you felt like this is not worth it or this is too difficult and wanting to give up and stick to what you know, what you are already doing?
JENNY: I think so because when I started my own business, I said, “what I’ll do is I’m going to work a lot less hours for much more money. (Laughter) That was the ambition but you know, it’s quite all consuming when you are running your own business and I ended up working a lot of hours and there were times when I was thinking, you know what, why didn’t I just take an easier life. Go, get my nine to five, be paid, not be thinking about it at midnight (yeah) you know! Not trying to juggle everything and be the Accountant and the Administrator and the Marketer and the person who delivers it.
HOST: And your own PA. (Laughter)
JENNY: Exactly! Not trying to do all of that! So there have been times when I just felt gosh I’m overwhelmed but there are really good learning points because you kind of have to strip back and be more strategic and work on your business instead of your in your business. So there have, there have been times where I found it really quite difficult and that affects juggling you know. It’s really hard to be an entrepreneur and have children and the school ring you and say “Oh, your child is sick.” And for me to say, “Well, I’m fifty miles away, I’m not going to be there and feel the ‘bad mother’, you’re a bad mother! (Laughter) Why aren’t you around the corner just waiting for us to call you, you know. So all of that, I kind of had to navigate but I’m in a good space, I feel confident but I know, I think that, I think I embrace failure, I embrace challenge now. I keep stretching myself, I did an half a marathon this year …
JENNY: Writing a book is something I’ve never done before and I just keep putting myself out there because I know if I stretch myself, I’ll learn something. I might not, I might not do it successfully, but I’ll learn something and so it makes you feel much more comfortable with not knowing about stuff.
HOST 1: I definitely think it’s commendable because I think women, we do have a lot of roles to play in life and we do tend to be slightly more emotional. So things can get to us a bit more and there is that thing where we don’t feel like we are doing everything that we should be doing in one area, like the example you gave of the school calling. It can sometimes get us down and even make us emotional and I can really relate to you. I don’t have children yet, but one in the oven (Laughter) but in terms of the setting of your own thing, I can really relate to that. And there were many times when I actually did cry. I don’t know if you’ve shed a lot of tears but I did in the whole process of setting everything up. So I can completely understand what you’re saying but I think it’s really inspirational, very inspiring what you’ve shared with us and I really look forward to reading this book.
HOSTS: Yes! I enjoyed it. Thank you! That’s so nice!
HOST 1: Thank you so much! We’ve already gotten so much from this, this short time. So thank you very much for being with us.
HOST 3: Thank you Jenny.
HOST 4: Thank you.
HOST 2: Thank you Jenny!
JENNY: Thank you for inviting me. Bye, bye.